King Russell squashes coup, Laura lives another day on Survivor

Posted by Tommy in Featured Articles, Survivor Samoa | 0 comments

For those out there who have not realized yet who is the man in Survivor Samoa, let me spell it out for you: R U S S E L L is the man!  The excitement, intrigue, and laughs per minute this redneck brings to reality television are simply unreal and last nights episode is quite possibly the best reality tv ever packaged up and shipped out to you and me via the airwaves.  So lets get down to the nitty gritty and talk about last nights show!

Awww, its so cute! Jungle Rat (photo:CBS)

To begin things Russell was a bit worried.  Seems his loyal subjects were not all that loyal!  Signs were not looking good for the King and he was feeling a coup was brewing!  Summoning forth his superior intellect which put him in this position in the first place he noted that hell ya he used the idol without thinking twice but only because he knew there was probably another idol in the camp and guess what, he’s going to find it!  If there is in fact a third idol and anyone could find it, it is you sir, it is you!

Laura the derelict, untrustworthy subject was cackling at her perceived weakness in the great King Russell.  She was the one stirring up all of the madness, the leader of the coup seeking to overthrow the rightful ruler of Survivor Samoa!  She told the audience that King Russell should be nervous, he’s going next!  Posh posh silly girl be wary of playing with fire!

Natalie, warrior princess, hunting for her King (photo:CBS)

Meanwhile poor faithful Natalie was out prancing in the wildlife when she stumbled upon a little morsel of food, a jungle rat!  She fiercely dispatched this minor denizen of the forest pummeling it with her big club running back to camp to offer up her catch to King Russell.  The king allowed her to prepare the feast and share it with the rest of his subjects. “Tastes like chicken,” were Natalie’s thoughts of the freshly barbecued jungle rat.

For the first challenge of the evening, the survivor’s were fighting for a bit of luxury.  The winners of the challenge were to be awarded a day trip to a one of a kind sliding rock waterfalls on the island.  But the luxury didn’t stop there, the winners were also to receive a picnic with fried chicken and brownies.  The survivors were divided into two random teams, purple and yellow, which wound up being the old Galu tribe and the old Foa Foa tribe with the addition of Laura.  Random my butt!  Anyways, the challenge entailed two survivors running to grab up these big poles with white abacus looking beads on them and run back and place them on two big support poles.  When assembled correctly all your big poles and white beads would form 4 digits.  The next step involved passing the four digits along to your team mate stationed at a rotating padlock with a key being held in place until you got the correct number.  This survivor, Laura for yellow and Monica for Purple, was blindfolded and the numbers were just raised nuggets on the combination dialer.  Well, in keeping with Survivor Samoa tradition the Galu tribe won the competition.  There were moments when it appeared like the yellow team might win, but those moments were extremely short lived.

The luxury note found by old Galu (photo:CBS)

Moving on to the luxury reward, the Galu folks were all alone to strategize their coup against the king.  Monica and Kelly were plotting there like Dr. Evil while Shambo said, duh I’m faithful to my king, I don’t want Russell to go anywhere!  Obviously the king has worked his houdini magic upon the Shambo and the rest of the Galu dissenters gave her the cold shoulder.  Along with the beautiful water, scenery and yummy food, the evil plotters found a note!  This note told them of another immunity idol!  This was great news that no one else could possibly have guessed and they were sure to use this bit of news to further their evil plans against the king.

King Russell finds the second immunity idol (photo:cbs)

Meanwhile back at the camp, the king is going about his daily business of ensuring his kingdom is taken care of and more importantly he’s out there looking for another immunity idol.  Oh come on people you know where this is going, of course you do!  This is the biggest superstar ever to play survivor, of course he is going to find another immunity idol!  Russell finds the idol and can’t keep from shaking he gets so excited.  He recognizes the value of the idol, perhaps a million bucks.  Russell busts out so many quality tidbits here its hard to relay them all, but basically the king has the following to say.

Am I that good, this is unprecedented!  I missed out on fried chicken and brownies for the second immunity idol, sounds like a good exchange to me.  Medusa is going down!

Medusa being Laura of course.  When the rest of Aiga returns from the picnic Russell can’t help but call over his witless servant Shambo to pass along the news and pass along her orders of making sure the rest of Galu is gunning for himself.  Then he will instruct the rest of his entourage to affix their sights upon Laura.

Russell admiring his handiwork (photo:CBS)

Laura, however, is a wily villain with much staying power, the king knew that they all had to battle bravely today at the immunity challenge in order to nail down his plan of Laura’s demise.  The immunity challenge was on the beach and involved the survivors tossing a grappling hook to snag 2 bags with puzzle pieces in the bags.  The first three survivors with 2 bags would move on to the second part of the competition which involved fitting the puzzle pieces inside the bags into a big puzzle board which would drop additional pieces when you inserted your pieces into the correct holes.  There were about 50 pieces in total that the contestants would have to fill.  Mick and Shambo quickly got their two bags and it came down to king Russell and vile Laura for the last spot on the puzzles.  Laura somehow managed to sabotage the king’s grappling hook and he lost his second bag while driving to a certain victory against Laura.  Once the three contestants began work on the puzzles, Mick, plagued by the Foa Foa curse, and Shambo plagued by her weak mind, succumbed quickly to Lauras’ devious puzzle powers allowing Laura to win immunity for the second week in a row!

Kelly out collecting wood unknowing of her upcoming demise (photo:CBS)

Blasted, the king’s plans are foiled, this required a quick meeting with his tool Shambo to help him determine the proper victim in Galu to get rid of next.  The king felt he wanted to take out Monica since she was of great importance to his nemesis Laura but Shambo made him reconsider with her simple words, “Duh, noone likes Monica, why not get Kelly.”  Ahh Kelly!  Poor poor Kelly!  The king has focused his gaze upon you young thing, and your days in survivor are quickly drawing to a close!  Quickly the King runs to get his plan set into action informing his loyal servants from Foa Foa of his intentions and his invulnerability in this evenings tribal council.  All of the kings countrymen have nothing but admiration and love for the king after this great news!  Jaison, Mick, yes even lovely Natalie are all overjoyed at the news and scurry to put their master’s plans into action.

Russell trying to out think himself (photo:cbs)

Action quickly zooms in upon the Galu conspirators discussing their evil plans of overthrowing their king.  They ponder what if Russell has found a second immunity idol, but quickly dismiss this idea but mention putting Natalie up instead.  The king happened to walk by when this conversation was taking place and began questioning his plan, wondering if the conspirators were just trying to pull out his idol.  The king was verging upon out thinking his masterful plan commenting upon how the game plays tricks upon your mind.

When Tribal Council finally comes around Jeff asks the Galu conspirators about Eriks blindsiding after bringing Erik in for the festivities.  They pretty much all agreed that Erik was just like a festering sore in their team and were much better off without him.  Boy was Erik pleased upon hearing this news.  Shambo says that the Galu side is comfortable and Foa Foa is staying alive.  Mick and Russell both just hope that the other side of the island quits trying to get rid of them so much and just utilizes them to play the game.  Voting time comes around and once all the votes are cast and tallied, Jeff tells them if someone has an immunity idol to bust it out.  The king says, “I ain’t finished playing yet,” while standing up to  hand Jeff the idol.  The look of dismay on the conspirators faces was priceless!

Kelly figures it out (photo:cbs)

The votes came out with all votes going to Russell save 3 which were all for Kelly, the second member of the jury being sent to the ponderosa.  BAM!  To top things off, Jeff informs the survivors that the idol is being put back into play once again!  The king remains firmly in power evening up the score, while the Galu side has been winning the competitions, the king has certainly been winning the game.  In the teaser for next week, Laura commented that all he did was stir up a big pile of shit, and everyone is chasing Russell around 24/7 to make sure he doesn’t get the next idol.  Its another can’t miss episode next week!

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