Survivor heroes bitch slap villains

Posted by Tommy in Featured Articles, Heroes and Villains | 0 comments

JT gives Tyson the bitch smack in the sumo comp (Photo: CBS)

Thats right folks, I said it, the heroes officially bitch slapped my villains on last nights episode.  Do not for one instant think I have lost faith in my villains with their fearless leader King Russell quietly engineering his brilliant victory this season with the villains, but wow…  WOW…  The villains looked terrible in last nights immunity competition, Sumo in Mud.  So let me break it all down for ya.

First things first, last week’s episode was pathetic, lame, weak, and just plain WTF.  For all these reasons I chose not to write about it.  This week though, we start things off lazily enough with the heroes returning from their semi wanna be dramatic tribal from last weeks episode.  James is coming down from some weird caveman bully thing he’s got going on when Tom approaches him and basically says its all good but ya could have acted a little nicer is all, you know a kinder gentler survivor is what Tom seems to be hoping for.  Tom also felt betrayed by JT whom he had an alliance with from day 1.  With last weeks vote, Tom’s biggest ally, Stephanie, was voted out of the game.  JT obviously voted against her so Tom was left scratching his head thinking WTF, who can I trust.  Tom is no dunce, though, and realizes he does need allies so when JT approached him to make nice, Tom was quick to accept the kids apology and move on hoping JT will at some point be beneficial to his game.  Not a bad move sir.

Parvati (Photo:CBS)

Snappy snap to the villains camp at night and you find Russell cuddling up to Parvati.  It was an obvious situation where I could feel Russ’s wife steaming from my luxurious king size bed in Boston and had to take the covers off.  WHEWY!  Don’t get me wrong, I’m certain it was just the king doing what the king does best which is bonding with his minions and bringing them closer into his villainous grasp but still, there was a puppy dog look to it and like I said, its pretty certain his wife wasn’t feeling too overjoyed with those images.  Boston Rob pointed out something which may be overlooked by some but really should be noted.  Rob said to watch how they sleep together at night if you want to know who is aligned with who.  Rob is clearly on top of his game, its just too bad he is a fainter…  The next day Coach makes mention to Russ that he’s getting dangerously close to Parvati and needs to watch it.  Russell runs over and discusses the whole conversation with Parvati who at one point gets a bit uncomfortable and tells the king that if she goes he’ll be next,  pfft yeah right.

Crazy James wondering wtf with all these bitches? (Photo: CBS)

So the next day, Rupert is crying because his team lost two comps and isn’t really acting as a team.  Next thing ya know there  is some more chickens clucking around, cluck cluck club.  The heroes come together and bring Rupert to tears with their amazing clucking skills at rounding up the chickens.  While Rupert is crying about how happy and joyous it is for his team to work together, James is simply interested in eating him some chicken!  Randy meanwhile scrounges up a giant clam and tries to share it with the villains only to get the cold shoulder from all but Parvati and Sandra.  JT at the heroes camp gets scared of Candice while chatting together and runs off to Cirie lying that Candice was trash talking her.  Cirie confronts Candice who then goes on a witch hunt to determine who’s talking about her behind her back.  Noone has a clue obviously and James tells her to just chill and worry about winning comps.

Later that night back at the villains camp, Russell is up to his tactics by taking the machete and burying it in hopes to drive his tribe crazy by removing this needed tool from Rob and Coach who like to run around chopping shit all day, chop chop…  Russell also sets his eyes upon Rob’s sacred Boston Red Sox cap touting his pff Astros.  This is the first time the king has let me down.  Red Sox nation owns you, we all know this fact and who are the Astros anyway?  I thought they were disbanded or some trash.  Anyways the next day it was noticed but really didn’t seem to matter to the tribe.  I almost get the feeling everyone was expecting something to happen like this and guess it is the king’s handiwork.

Finally its time for the immunity challenge.  It’s called Sumo in the Mud and its pretty much exactly like it sounds.  Two at a time the survivors squared off on a platform.  They were provided a large cushion to grasp with two handles which they had to keep their hands inside to duke it out with.  The platform sat upon a pit of mud and it was looking nice juicy and slippery.  The team to shove off 8 of their opponants first would win immunity and a very nice luxury package to include coffee, spice, and everything nice!

1. Tom & Russell: Russell owned by Tom quickly. 1-0
2. Parvati & Candice: Candice owns Parvati after a battle 2-0
3. Rupert and Coach: Coach got Rupert out but took hand outta bag do over, used his arm. Coach flips off Probst who says point your anger at the pirate…  Round 2 Rupert bull rushes him out quickly. 3-0
4. Jerri and Cirie: Jerri ownt quickly… 4-0
5. Tyson v JT:  Tyson owned and kisses jt 5-0
6. Amanda v dannielle: dannielle owned heroes 6-0
7. Colby v Rob:  Rob Owned 7-0
8. Randy v James: Randy owned quick one hit and james curses him… Heroes win immunity

Really don’t know what to say about the immunity challenge other then it was pure, 100%, unadulterated ownage!  The villains got spanked hard and got sent back to camp with a reality check.  Once in the camp the two names being tossed around were Randy and Parveti.  Parveti was very much about finding out who was calling her name and why. Randy was content to play in the water while letting everyone else decide the course of events.  Pause a moment here, take one minute out, I want to express something here.  I have been extremely disappointed of late by my reality games.  It seems like everyone tries to take out the strong guys first and the floaters keep floating eventually to win the whole shebang and I’m sick of it!  So while I can understand taking out Parveti over Randy, cmon Randy didn’t even plead his case except to Coach.  Randy has been noticeably absent from the game as are many others in the game.  If I ever get the chance to participate in one of these games, floaters must have their games perish!  I will take my chances heads up against a strong opponent any day rather then let some weak dumbass redneck beat me out by pure ef’n luck and the work of everyone else.

Villains first Tribal Council (photo: CBS)

Tribal Council comes around in quick order and not much really good here.  Probst asked some decent questions about prior relationships and their effect upon the game.  Most agreed that the prior relationships are a huge consideration in strategy.  When asked about the leadership Sandra talked about Rob and how some don’t do squat like Coach who got pissed and started going back and forth for a lil bit.  Really nothing too eye opening though Russell called his prior Foa Foa tribe a bunch of dodos lol and showered praises upon his new tribe.  When the vote came out Randy got sent packing unanimously save his vote which went for Rob.  Hats off to the villains for eliminating another floater!

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