For those out there who have not realized yet who is the man in Survivor Samoa, let me spell it out for you: R U S S E L L is the man!  The excitement, intrigue, and laughs per minute this redneck brings to reality television are simply unreal and last nights episode is quite possibly the best reality tv ever packaged up and shipped out to you and me via the airwaves.  So lets get down to the nitty gritty and talk about last nights show!

Awww, its so cute! Jungle Rat (photo:CBS)

To begin things Russell was a bit worried.  Seems his loyal subjects were not all that loyal!  Signs were not looking good for the King and he was feeling a coup was brewing!  Summoning forth his superior intellect which put him in this position in the first place he noted that hell ya he used the idol without thinking twice but only because he knew there was probably another idol in the camp and guess what, he’s going to find it!  If there is in fact a third idol and anyone could find it, it is you sir, it is you!

Laura the derelict, untrustworthy subject was cackling at her perceived weakness in the great King Russell.  She was the one stirring up all of the madness, the leader of the coup seeking to overthrow the rightful ruler of Survivor Samoa!  She told the audience that King Russell should be nervous, he’s going next!  Posh posh silly girl be wary of playing with fire!

Natalie, warrior princess, hunting for her King (photo:CBS)

Meanwhile poor faithful Natalie was out prancing in the wildlife when she stumbled upon a little morsel of food, a jungle rat!  She fiercely dispatched this minor denizen of the forest pummeling it with her big club running back to camp to offer up her catch to King Russell.  The king allowed her to prepare the feast and share it with the rest of his subjects. “Tastes like chicken,” were Natalie’s thoughts of the freshly barbecued jungle rat.

For the first challenge of the evening, the survivor’s were fighting for a bit of luxury.  The winners of the challenge were to be awarded a day trip to a one of a kind sliding rock waterfalls on the island.  But the luxury didn’t stop there, the winners were also to receive a picnic with fried chicken and brownies.  The survivors were divided into two random teams, purple and yellow, which wound up being the old Galu tribe and the old Foa Foa tribe with the addition of Laura.  Random my butt!  Anyways, the challenge entailed two survivors running to grab up these big poles with white abacus looking beads on them and run back and place them on two big support poles.  When assembled correctly all your big poles and white beads would form 4 digits.  The next step involved passing the four digits along to your team mate stationed at a rotating padlock with a key being held in place until you got the correct number.  This survivor, Laura for yellow and Monica for Purple, was blindfolded and the numbers were just raised nuggets on the combination dialer.  Well, in keeping with Survivor Samoa tradition the Galu tribe won the competition.  There were moments when it appeared like the yellow team might win, but those moments were extremely short lived.

The luxury note found by old Galu (photo:CBS)

Moving on to the luxury reward, the Galu folks were all alone to strategize their coup against the king.  Monica and Kelly were plotting there like Dr. Evil while Shambo said, duh I’m faithful to my king, I don’t want Russell to go anywhere!  Obviously the king has worked his houdini magic upon the Shambo and the rest of the Galu dissenters gave her the cold shoulder.  Along with the beautiful water, scenery and yummy food, the evil plotters found a note!  This note told them of another immunity idol!  This was great news that no one else could possibly have guessed and they were sure to use this bit of news to further their evil plans against the king.

King Russell finds the second immunity idol (photo:cbs)

Meanwhile back at the camp, the king is going about his daily business of ensuring his kingdom is taken care of and more importantly he’s out there looking for another immunity idol.  Oh come on people you know where this is going, of course you do!  This is the biggest superstar ever to play survivor, of course he is going to find another immunity idol!  Russell finds the idol and can’t keep from shaking he gets so excited.  He recognizes the value of the idol, perhaps a million bucks.  Russell busts out so many quality tidbits here its hard to relay them all, but basically the king has the following to say.

Am I that good, this is unprecedented!  I missed out on fried chicken and brownies for the second immunity idol, sounds like a good exchange to me.  Medusa is going down!

Medusa being Laura of course.  When the rest of Aiga returns from the picnic Russell can’t help but call over his witless servant Shambo to pass along the news and pass along her orders of making sure the rest of Galu is gunning for himself.  Then he will instruct the rest of his entourage to affix their sights upon Laura.

Russell admiring his handiwork (photo:CBS)

Laura, however, is a wily villain with much staying power, the king knew that they all had to battle bravely today at the immunity challenge in order to nail down his plan of Laura’s demise.  The immunity challenge was on the beach and involved the survivors tossing a grappling hook to snag 2 bags with puzzle pieces in the bags.  The first three survivors with 2 bags would move on to the second part of the competition which involved fitting the puzzle pieces inside the bags into a big puzzle board which would drop additional pieces when you inserted your pieces into the correct holes.  There were about 50 pieces in total that the contestants would have to fill.  Mick and Shambo quickly got their two bags and it came down to king Russell and vile Laura for the last spot on the puzzles.  Laura somehow managed to sabotage the king’s grappling hook and he lost his second bag while driving to a certain victory against Laura.  Once the three contestants began work on the puzzles, Mick, plagued by the Foa Foa curse, and Shambo plagued by her weak mind, succumbed quickly to Lauras’ devious puzzle powers allowing Laura to win immunity for the second week in a row!

Kelly out collecting wood unknowing of her upcoming demise (photo:CBS)

Blasted, the king’s plans are foiled, this required a quick meeting with his tool Shambo to help him determine the proper victim in Galu to get rid of next.  The king felt he wanted to take out Monica since she was of great importance to his nemesis Laura but Shambo made him reconsider with her simple words, “Duh, noone likes Monica, why not get Kelly.”  Ahh Kelly!  Poor poor Kelly!  The king has focused his gaze upon you young thing, and your days in survivor are quickly drawing to a close!  Quickly the King runs to get his plan set into action informing his loyal servants from Foa Foa of his intentions and his invulnerability in this evenings tribal council.  All of the kings countrymen have nothing but admiration and love for the king after this great news!  Jaison, Mick, yes even lovely Natalie are all overjoyed at the news and scurry to put their master’s plans into action.

Russell trying to out think himself (photo:cbs)

Action quickly zooms in upon the Galu conspirators discussing their evil plans of overthrowing their king.  They ponder what if Russell has found a second immunity idol, but quickly dismiss this idea but mention putting Natalie up instead.  The king happened to walk by when this conversation was taking place and began questioning his plan, wondering if the conspirators were just trying to pull out his idol.  The king was verging upon out thinking his masterful plan commenting upon how the game plays tricks upon your mind.

When Tribal Council finally comes around Jeff asks the Galu conspirators about Eriks blindsiding after bringing Erik in for the festivities.  They pretty much all agreed that Erik was just like a festering sore in their team and were much better off without him.  Boy was Erik pleased upon hearing this news.  Shambo says that the Galu side is comfortable and Foa Foa is staying alive.  Mick and Russell both just hope that the other side of the island quits trying to get rid of them so much and just utilizes them to play the game.  Voting time comes around and once all the votes are cast and tallied, Jeff tells them if someone has an immunity idol to bust it out.  The king says, “I ain’t finished playing yet,” while standing up to  hand Jeff the idol.  The look of dismay on the conspirators faces was priceless!

Kelly figures it out (photo:cbs)

The votes came out with all votes going to Russell save 3 which were all for Kelly, the second member of the jury being sent to the ponderosa.  BAM!  To top things off, Jeff informs the survivors that the idol is being put back into play once again!  The king remains firmly in power evening up the score, while the Galu side has been winning the competitions, the king has certainly been winning the game.  In the teaser for next week, Laura commented that all he did was stir up a big pile of shit, and everyone is chasing Russell around 24/7 to make sure he doesn’t get the next idol.  Its another can’t miss episode next week!

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The grinning King (photo:CBS)

Of course everyone knows who the king is, especially now that King Russell has come right out and proclaimed to the world on last night’s episode that he is already the ruler of his new kingdom Aiga!  Epic episode is an understatement!  So much juicy action went on last night, survivor fans everywhere are still caught up in a euphoric state considering the action and possiblities, yeah even the direction the producers are teasing us for next week.  This season has not let down so far and promises to be a hell of a ride down the home stretch!  But lets get into it, what were the haps!

Shambo (photo:cbs)

So to break down the episode, there were basically five parts.  Pre-merger, the merge, challenge, the shit storm, and finally Tribal council.  We’ll take everything in order as there is much ground to cover and no sense in getting all sneaky about how we do it.  Pre-merger starts off with Foa Foa walking back from tribal and Liz’s elimination.  Russell and Jaison are the only ones who offer anything worthwhile.  Russell  tells the tribe that they all have to be united and take over the other tribe when they merge.  Meanwhile he tells the audience he has to

Make sure his seed is planted in all these dumbasses heads so when they do merge he can stir it up over there.

LoL, my man! Jaison just breaks things down in his own logical way explaining how they just can’t lose anymore immunity challenges.  Still wondering if Jaison can win anything…

On the Galu side of the house things are going like they do everyday in paradise.  Laura and Shambo get into it over some canteens Shambo was supposed to watch.  Shambo ug, just thinks Laura is being miss priss popular girl and tries to use some good ol USMC intimidation on her.  Erik really hits the nail on the head with his insightful comments, basically they all know Shambo is crazy.  If you want to start debating, arguing, smack talking with her, you’re basically telling the crowd you are just as crazy!  Clearly!

Aiga flag (photo:CBS)

So merger time comes around and its all happy, happy, joy, joy at the big merge feast!  Folks don’t waste a moment to start fitting in with their new crowd.  Foa Foa is doing most of the work trying to get friendships going and exploit any unhappiness the Galu people have with the tribe.  Galu is pretty content and comfy with their numbers.  This episode truly centered around King Russell and his ability to work his houdini magic upon his fellow survivors.  Russell had so many quality moments in this episode, where to begin and what to exclude is a tough call here is the basic theme though.

• My name is King Russell and this is the feast my loyal minions have prepared for me upon acceptance to my new tribe.
• I’m gunna do things like I did in Foa Foa and make deals with them all
• There once was a baseball player named Babe Ruth, he had the most strikeouts but he also had the most home runs.  Therefore I’m gunna keep on swinging!
• Laura recognizes my lies and deceit so shes gone!
• Monica lies and needs momma taken out!
• John and I can manipulate these people muahahaha!
• Shambo will trust my southern boy ways, what a tool!
• Its so easy to control these minds! I got the Shambo and the John in my pocket!

Basically, King Russell gets the job done and has John, Shambo, and Natalie get the plan set in motion to give Laura the boot.  It was locked up tight with the king pulling the strings as per the norm.  Everything was going to plan right up until the time the challenge rolls around!

The challenge was good old Survivor T-Ball.  A simple game of hitting a ball off a tee trying to get it into the highest value portion of the field in front of the contestants.  The males and females would compete against themselves so there was to be to immune players this week.  Survivors only got one swing a piece and things were looking good for the king with his booming 4 shot leading the field until John stepped up to the plate and took down a 5 spot.  So John is immune.  For the Ladies, well, the ladies were all pretty much equally pathetic with Shambo bringing her normal ‘A’ game and smacking a big goose egg.  Laura came up big with the win here, a four would do it to give Laura immunity…  Wait a second?!  Wasn’t Laura supposed to go to ponderosa tonight?  Ut Oh, Shambo begins feeling queasy getting  a gut wrenching feeling that Laura wouldn’t be getting voted out this week…

King Russell's coronation feast (photo:cbs)

From here things get sticky and the shit starts hitting the fan.  Russell wants to go with Monica to break up the girls and has John on board.  Shambo is like no way, I only wanted to get that bitch out now I think Foa Foa needs to go.  Dave says they should be picking off Foa Foa like pop, pop, pop, pop…  Erik wants to be sneaky and make Russell think he is going to be voted out so he’ll use the idol but really just wants to get rid of Jaison.  Erik wants to make sure he doesn’t talk to Shambo so none of her brilliance can rub off on him or something like that.  He is also feeling like everything is seeming too easy for him right now, hmmm.  Laura tells Monica Erik has to go, and John is upset by the JV Survivor his team is playing.  Erik makes this big speech to Jaison, Mickdreamy and Natalie about how he wants to flush Russell’s idol and put up Monica but in doing so pisses off those three talking down to them.  Jaison is all about tellin Erik whatever he wants to hear then putting four votes on him.  The tribe seems to be heading that way but its hard to tell.  The king is getting nervous not sure which way everyone is leaning.  He sends his minions out to do his bidding, but he’s not so sure they are getting the job done!  What to do, what to do!

Jaison smiling when Erik starts racking up votes (photo:CBS)

Tribal council is here and Jeff begins his questioning.  Erik acts like his normal arrogant I’m the man self, pointing out that the Foa Foa members have no worth or reason to even be worthy of any consideration whatsoever.  Russell says hey, we’ve got plenty to offer and we can still make this happen.  In response to Erik calling him out for talking to everyone about game he puts it simple, he’s here to play this game and if it takes him talking to each and every survivor every day he is going to do it!  Jaison is pissed at Erik and feels slighted because Erik points out his worthless qualities to the crowd.  It is hard for Jaison to make an impression though, he has been worthless so far in the game, step up Jaison!  Voting time rolls around and the king decides to utilize his immunity idol.  Hold your horses, stop right there!  WTF!?  Why would Russell chose to use his idol right now unless he is totally feeling like he’s getting voted out?

Erik is done, heading to the ponderosa (photo:cbs)

Why not save it?  Have you ever considered that perhaps Russell utilized his idol to make Erik feel safe and have no reason to use his idol?  Huh, did ya?  At first it may seem like a stupid play for Russell, but in fact this play quite possibly could have saved Jaison from elimination and ensured Erik’s leaving.  Granted Erik didn’t seem too concerned about elimination but consider this.  If Russell had not used his idol perhaps those feelings Erik was having earlier in the show where things were seeming too easy might have made him feel the need to use his idol.  We’ll never know though, because Erik was eliminated by a vote of 7 to 2, Shambo and Erik were the only two to vote for Jaison.  Sent to the Ponderosa with the idol in his pocket…

Below you’ll find Erik’s arrival at the ponderosa on video… Good Times!

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King Russell overseas his minions waging war on the field of combat (photo: CBS)

Moving into week 7, Suvivor fans remain on the edge of their seats in curiosity, will Foa Foa ever win another competition, will Russell’s name ever be considered for elimination?  Hmmm, no and no!  Russell has proven himself over and over again that he’s the king of deception nation and there is no indication whatsoever he will be ousted anytime soon!  It’s interesting to ponder whether any decisions or conversations the audience shares with Russell, well, whether or not anything he does is simply what we see.  Many may label Russell evil, some may even dub my man Russell by other names such as, Lucifer!  Hear ye, hear  ye, oh ye of little mental prowess and much gullibility,  my man Russell is going all the way this season.  He is simply a bull dozer, a steam roller, a mack truck, a sherman main battle tank, hell he is the King!  King Russell is the man and he is here to stay.  If you have any desire to further your knowledge of reality game play, take notes whenever you see the King on the boob tube!

Moving on, last nights episode was better for the contestants in that the rain had ended and the skies were sunny!  Everyone was in better moods on both sides.  Erik discusses how he is sad at the loss of Russell S, their leader and a great bonus to their team.  He points out that it evens up the numbers when it comes to girls versus boys.  King Russell talks about how he’s just happy they did not lose anyone last week and the numbers are looking more even.  He is not too concerned that he was unable to rid the island of Liz last week feeling that she may fit into his grand plans a little longer to help with winning some competitions for 3 more weeks then he can get rid of her.  Course, they need to win a competition first would be my thinking.

McDreamy earning his nickname. (photo:CBS)

Back at the Galu camp, the guys come together and begin to discuss the options they have to solidify their power in Galu.  They want numbers and realize that Shambo, the dim wit, does not come anywhere close to fitting in with the rest of the ladies.  If they all band together to make her Russell’s replacement as tribe leader, they would have her locked up as their 5th.  The guys steamroll their plan into place locking Shambo into the tribes vacant chief position in what amounted to a beautifully played coup giving the ladies no time to really debate a leader.  Really guys, awesome plan, but Dave quickly realizes the danger in this when they show up for the next luxury challenge.

Winning the luxury challenge was to award a tribe a day on a yacht complete with real food, sun, and fun! As to the competition it was like the old game of concentration.  There were a number of tables each with a symbolic utility item underneath a pyramid shaped covering.  The contestants were to come up one at a time and uncover an item and then a second item and if they matched they could choose to either take the utility item or take a point.  Shambo chose to allow John to make the decisions for Galu in this competition but only after first, standing corrected when naming the wrong player to stand in.  Dave scolded her like she was a kindergartner who continually misbehaved.  The sad part about this whole situation is, Shambo truly is a tool.  Having spent 10 years in the Marine Corps myself, I kind of know her type…  Well, lets just say I  hope you’re not hanging your hopes on this crazy lady.  She is as dim witted as she is hard core, a perfect combination this will never make!  Ohhh Rah for you though lady, you did a great service for your country!

Jaison, McDreamy and Liz puzzled on Survivor Samoa (photo:CBS)

Galu basically destroyed Foa Foa in this competition once again.  Yes, yes, we get our hopes up but at least only for a moment.  It was quickly apparent what the outcome would be very early into this competition.  Galu won the fire making kit which came with a tarp and beat the snot out of Foa Foa by a score of 6 to 3.  Galu enjoyed themselves on their sailing expedition and ate a yummy stew of beefy goodness with a side of bread.  One thing is for certain, Galu is certainly getting some good eats this season.  This perhaps could prove a liability though.  Galu has a lazy ho hum attitude from all their winning while Foa Foa is struggling to survive on the island knowing they will not be getting any special food without divine intervention at this point.  They make fire, they scrounge food, they are getting harder and more resilient.  While on the other side of the island Galu gets fatter, lazier, and more complacent.

Shambo got to send a spy over to Foa Foa and chose Laura.  Laura and Monica both note that Shambo is just trying to exert her power as new chief over the girls.  Laura noted the friendlyness of the foa foa tribe and Russell quickly pounced upon her and offered her the standard King Russell Final 2 Deal which he has with most of the island.  Russell admits to working his, “houdini,” magic upon her while Laura figures the deal to be a perfectly unsuspected ploy which no one would suspect.  Meanwhile, King Russell feels she is shaping up just like he wants her to.  Side note here, did you happen to notice how piercingly blue Russell’s eyes are?  DAMN!

Natalie and Liz fishing for the immunity challenge (photo: CBS)

Next thing up was the big Immunity challenge!  Foa Foa’s leader McDreamy showed up to the challenge not wearing his leadership necklace.  Jeff quickly noticed this and called Mick out on the fact.  Mick and Foa Foa felt that perhaps, just maybe, the necklace was turning out to be bad luck in the challenges.  Maybe in reality world, Foa Foa is just weak when it comes to winning challenges, maybe, ya think?  After ensuring the leader was still in place, Jeff agrees all is good, the necklace is only symbolic so long as there is a leader in place.

The competition entails taking a decent sized canoe, with 5 tribe members, out to various stations which had puzzle pieces in the water attached to a float.  The teams would have two members with fishing poles trying to hook the floats.  Once, the teams had all their sets of puzzle pieces they were to paddle, row, push back to the shore and have three tribe members put together the puzzle.  Galu sat out: Laura, Monica, and John.  Foa Foa started out strong snatching up their puzzle pieces in a blaze of glory which quickly fizzled out when their lead evaporated by the time they could get their canoe back to shore.  Once on the shore, Jaison, Liz and McDreamy worked on Foa Foa’s puzzle.  Once again signs start out with Foa Foa kicking it on the puzzle but Jaison has a major failure of mental power and fortitude and just gives up on the puzzle.  Just gives up, it was sad.

Jaison hanging his head in shame (Photo: CBS)

Galu powers ahead and sounding like a broken record destroys Foa Foa in yet another challenge.  Galu stands strong and wins immunity!

Before tribal council, King Russell started to realize that perhaps his tribe partners are going to wind up costing him a million bucks!  Questions arise about Jaison’s worth in the tribe and Jaison is moping around apologizing and embarrassed at his total lack of worth in challenges.  Talk is cheap buddy and votes don’t come cheap on Survivor.

Tribal council rolls around with everyone talking about how their spirit was still high and the four remaining tribe members would have to be stronger as a unit.  Jeff mentions how they are probably the worst tribe ever in 19 seasons of Survivor, Liz trusts everyone 100%, Mick has no trust issues, Jaison bows his head in defeat conceding that if he’s the victim hopefully it will turn around for the tribe.  When the votes were counted, amazingly, the person sent packing was LIZ!  Jeff ended the show by telling them, while they’re not improving in challenges they were becoming the shiz nitz in blindsiding someone!  True Dat Jeff, True Dat!  What the Russell wants, the Russell gets!

What do you think about Foa Foa and King Russell?  Do you think Shambo will bring Galu’s mighty fortress crashing to the ground?  Sound off and leave a comment below!

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